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3 Steps to a New Perspective: How Values Lead to Safety & Prosperity
In a world that often feels increasingly polarized and overwhelming, it is easy to become trapped in a singular way of seeing things. We find ourselves reactive—easily angered, quickly upset, and perpetually guarded. When we live from this place of defensiveness, our world shrinks. We stop seeing possibilities and start seeing threats.
The secret to breaking this cycle isn’t just “thinking positive.” It is about a fundamental shift in perspective.
By definition, perspective is a particular attitude toward or way of regarding something; it is your unique point of view. But if your point of view is clouded by past trauma, a lack of self-worth, or unclear boundaries, your perspective will always be one of survival rather than growth.
Through my Integrated Clinical Mental Health and Life Coaching approach, I guide clients through a specialized Value-Boundary Development Process designed to dismantle old, reactive lenses and build a new, expansive life perspective.
The “Angry or Upset?” Litmus Test
There is a common phrase in mindfulness: “Angry or upset? Read it again.” When we react with immediate anger or distress to a situation, a person, or even a piece of text, it is rarely about the external trigger itself. Instead, it is a reflection of our internal state. It means our current perspective is filtered through a “threat lens.”
If you lack clear values, you don’t know what you stand for, leaving you feeling tossed about by the opinions of others. If you lack boundaries, you feel constantly invaded or taken advantage of. Of course you’re angry. Of course you’re upset. You are living in a house with no walls and no foundation.
The Integrated Approach: Healing Meets Building
Most people seek either therapy or coaching. However, to truly change your perspective, you need both. My approach integrates these two disciplines to provide a 360-degree transformation.
1. The Clinical Mental Health Foundation
Before we can build a new perspective, we must understand the old one. Clinical counseling allows us to look at the “why” behind your current point of view. We address the root causes of anxiety, depression, or trauma that have forced you into a defensive posture. By healing these wounds, we clear the “fog” from your lens, allowing you to see the world as it actually is, rather than through the distorted filter of past pain.
2. The Life Coaching Expansion
Once the foundation is stable, coaching takes the lead. This is where we define the “how.” Coaching is future-oriented; it’s about taking that cleared lens and pointing it toward a horizon of your choosing. We work on the active habits that sustain a healthy perspective, ensuring that you don’t just feel better, but you live better.
Do you Matter? The Value-Boundary Development Process
Of course you matter and never give up. The engine that drives transformation is the Value-Boundary Development Process. This is how we move from feeling that we don’t matter to feeling that we do.
Step 1: Identifying Life Values
What do you actually care about? Most people live by “borrowed values”—the expectations of parents, society, or peers. Our process helps you strip those away to find your authentic core. When you know your values, your perspective shifts from “What do they want from me?” to “Does this align with who I am?”
Step 2: Establishing Protective Boundaries
A boundary is the physical and emotional manifestation of your values. If you value “Peace,” your boundary might be “I do not engage in screaming matches.” Boundaries aren’t about being “mean”; they are about being clear. As you establish these, your perspective shifts from being a victim of circumstances to being the architect of your environment.
Step 3: Practicing the Open Mind and Heart
With values as your floor and boundaries as your walls, you are finally safe enough to be open. An open mind and heart lead to entirely new perspectives. You begin to see challenges as opportunities for growth rather than personal attacks. You begin to see other people not as adversaries, but as fellow travelers.
Here is a 5-question “Perspective & Boundary Pulse Check”
Quiz: Is Your Perspective Rooted in Survival or Growth?
Take a moment to reflect on your reactions over the last week. Choose the statement in each pair that most closely aligns with your experience.
1. When a friend or colleague disagrees with me, my first instinct is:
- A) To feel attacked, get defensive, or shut down internally.
- B) To feel curious about their point of view, even if I don’t agree.
2. When I think about my personal “Boundaries,” I view them as:
- A) Walls I build to keep people from hurting me or taking advantage of me.
- B) Gates that I control, allowing me to protect my energy while staying connected.
3. If I am feeling “Angry or Upset,” I usually:
- A) Stay stuck in that feeling and look for who or what is to blame.
- B) Use it as a signal to “read it again” and check if my values are being honored.
4. My daily decisions are primarily driven by:
- A) Fear of disappointing others or the need to “fix” situations.
- B) My core values and what brings me closer to my long-term goals.
5. How would you describe your current outlook on your future?
- A) I feel “vulnerable” in a scary way—exposed to risks and uncertain of my path.
- B) I am practicing “being vulnerable”—taking risks to grow and love more deeply.
Evaluating the Results
- Mostly A’s: The “Survival” Perspective. Your current lens is likely shaped by a lack of clear boundaries or unresolved emotional triggers. You are in a state where vulnerability feels like a threat because your “house” doesn’t have a firm foundation yet. You are exactly who my Clinical Counseling and Value Development process is designed to help.
- Mostly B’s: The “Growth” Perspective. You have a strong start on your value-boundary journey! You are leaning toward an open heart and mind. My Life Coaching services can help you refine these tools to reach the next level of leadership, intimacy, and purpose.
No matter where you landed on this quiz, remember: Perspective is a skill that can be developed. If you found yourself choosing mostly A’s, don’t be discouraged. It is simply a sign that your current “survival” tools are no longer serving you. My integrated approach is the bridge that leads you from the frustration of being “upset” to the freedom of being “open.”
You Matter – A New Perspective
If you took the “Perspective & Boundary Pulse Check” and realized you are living through a lens of survival, please know this: You matter, and your perspective is a skill that can be developed. You don’t have to stay stuck in a cycle of being guarded and upset.
Are you ready to trade your “threat lens” for a “growth lens”? Are you ready to build the values-boundaries that allow you to love and be loved without fear?
Take the first step toward your new life today. Click the button below to schedule a consultation. Together, we will dismantle the old, reactive habits and build an expansive, value-driven perspective that helps you thrive.
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Schedule a consultation to explore how counseling and coaching can support your journey toward well-being.
